Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize