in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
