But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
