At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize