How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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