thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize