the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
