so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
