too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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