I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
