that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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