I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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