Rock
Scissors
Fuck
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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