I need help removing her.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
