That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
