I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
