: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
