You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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