He had one of those small greek statue penises
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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