Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
