I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
