The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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