If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize