Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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