May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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