You really coming over, don't trick.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
