we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
