I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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