Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
