My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
