I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
