I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize