I think I am morally bankrupt
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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