My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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