she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize