apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Come see our sink grown plant.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
