Sorry, I don't speak sober.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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