Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm like, not good at living.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
