we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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