After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
