I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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