The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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