A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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