I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
