What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
