i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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