I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
