Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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