i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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