I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
