i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize