I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
