but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
