He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
