return my video game
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
