Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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