You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
