dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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