Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
