too bad you live with your parents still
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
