oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
