..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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