tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i barfeds in our rink
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
