He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
