I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
