She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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