I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
