Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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