apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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