Apparently you make a good broom.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize