My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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