Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Randomize
