if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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