Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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