I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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