singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
