her vagine was all disorganized.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
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