grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
zippers are such a cool invention
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
