just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Sorry my hands just texted you
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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