what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Randomize
