I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
