i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
